The Imago Dialogue

Communication skills for staying in love

The no fight agreement
Step 1: Ask for a meeting.
Never ambush your partner or try to start a conversation without his or her
consent.
Implication is I need to talk and need you to listen
Step 2: Mirror the speaker: The key to effective listening
Listening doesn’t mean agreement
Stay close to your partner’s words
Ask: Did I get that right?
Ask: Is there more you want to say about this?
Look for the underlying issue to surface
Step 3: Summarize what you heard
Trying to get the big picture
Ask: Do you feel I understand what you said?
Step 4: Validate: Validating perceptions. Seeing the issue from your
partner’s perspective. Validating her subjectivity.
“You make sense to me. I understand where you’re coming from when
you talk about….”
Step 5: Empathize: Validating feelings. Getting how your partner is feeling
“I understand that when this happens, you feel angry and alone.”
Step 6: The ask
“Is there anything I can do to help make this better for you?”
Step 7: Complete repair; means no bad feelings left over

3 Comments

  1. Thanks for a marvelous posting! I actually enjoyed reading it, you happen to be a great author.I will be sure to bookmark
    your blog and will often come back later in life.
    I want to encourage yourself to continue your great work,
    have a nice holiday weekend!

  2. I love your blog.. very nice colors & theme. Did you design this website yourself or did
    you hire someone to do it for you? Plz respond as I’m looking to construct my own blog and would like to find out where u got this from.
    appreciate it

Leave a Reply to this review Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *