I have long believed that a person’s ability to thrive rather than merely survive is dependent upon one’s ability to process one’s feelings. The only thing that can make life unbearable is unbearable feelings. A person with a high EQ (Emotional Intelligence) is able to tolerate uncomfortable and painful feelings, …
Am I Alive?
I am most fully alive when I am most fully me. I cannot think of a more important psychological principle than this. The more I am living in harmony with my unique feelings, needs, perceptions, and creativity, the more alive I feel. As Henry Thoreau put it, “Most people live …
The Human Endeavor
Everyone wants to live a rich and deeply satisfying life. The means to this end is to acquire as much good for oneself as possible. Life is the ultimate supermarket sweepstakes. But instead of food, money, appliances, etc., the commodity we need to fill our carts with is goodness. To live …
“Above all to thine own self be true”
When I was a freshman in college, I knew with certainty that I wanted to major in pre-med. It felt so clear and right. After all, what else was I going to do with my life, being a Jewish guy from a middle-class home whose father was a dentist? Things …
It’s Great to be Alive…but
For thousands of years, Jews have a tradition of waking each morning with a prayer on their lips that essentially says, it’s great to be alive. One of the deepest pleasures in life is the realization that one is alive. Have you felt it recently? To be a conscious, thinking, …
Are You Free?
Most of us believe we are free. We live in a free country and generally feel free. But are we truly free? Consider this rabbinic saying from the times of the Talmud: “The only person who is truly free is the one who is seriously involved in the study of …
Enjoying the Journey
Sooner or later we must realize there is no one place to arrive at once and for all. The true joy of life is the trip, the dream constantly outdistances us Robert Hastings Many of us live with a fantasy. We imagine one day it will all come to together …
The Challenge of Shame
Shame is poison to the soul and is one of the greatest obstacles to personal growth and self-improvement. Shame is the feeling generated from one’s perceptions that one is deficient, bad, or inferior. Shame often leads to self-hate and when someone is thrown into a storm of self-hate, he is …
Living Authentically
Living authentically means taking full responsibility and ownership for my choices, actions, values, beliefs, priorities, and feelings. Living authentically means recognizing there is no one to blame for my life. To live authentically requires that we be ruthlessly honest with and never lie to ourselves. When we lie to ourselves …
The Secret of Personal Transformation
What do you think is the secret of personal transformation? Here are two scenarios about personal transformation. Cynthia, 42 has been a heavy smoker since she was a teen-ager. She knows how dangerous smoking is to her health, yet nothing has helped her kick the habit, until one day she …