Author: Dov Heller

I tell couples all the time that they should adopt a no fight agreement. Often their response is, ”Are youserious? Everybody fights.” Yes, but there’s a difference between good fighting and bad fighting. Theno fight agreement is about agreeing to avoid bad fights. A bad fight is destructive, damaging, hurtful,disrespectful, …

  1. Life’s most important question is, what am I living for? Rabbi Noah Weinberg How can you live, if you don’t know what you’re living for?  We know we are not living to eat, but eating to live which begs the question, what am I living for? Exercise: What’s …

There are six things to keep in mind in order to be your best dating self and give yourself the best chance with the person you’re dating. 1. FEEL GOOD IN YOUR SKIN. To be your most attractive self, you must strive to look your best. This is not about …

There are two types of anger.  The first type is anger most of us experience when someone does not act in accord with our will, needs and expectations.  The guy schmoozing with the bank teller when I’m tenth in line and feeling pressured to get to the office makes me …

If we have the courage to listen to our pain and learn from it, we will find inner peace and empowerment. Inner conflicts we don’t understand often undermine our inner peace. The conflict could mean that we are avoiding facing a frightening truth about ourselves and our lives. And as …

When we are not at peace, it is often because of an inner conflict we don’t understand. Much of the time, the conflict means that we are avoiding facing a frightening truth about ourselves and our lives. As long as we resist facing this truth, we will be at war …

A primary reason why people feel out of control of their lives is because they are not in control of their feelings. We either control our feelings or our feelings will control us. When our feelings control us we generally make bad decisions. When we are in control of our …

Unbearable pain makes life unbearable. Everyone lives with pain but not everyone lives with unbearable pain. One can feel alive with pain but not with unbearable or crushing pain.  Having challenges and struggles often gives us a feeling of being alive. In fact, a life without challenge and pain is …

I’d like to compare G-d’s fan base to Lady Gaga’s.  In terms of numbers, I am sure there are more “followers” of G-d than of Lady Gaga.  What I’m interested in is comparing the experience of their respective followers.  My sense is that the average follower of Lady Gaga is …

The common approach to deciding whether to marry someone is to make a list of what you’re looking for and then find someone who meets your requirements.  This is a good approach for buying a car but not so good for deciding to make a life commitment to another human …