Shame is the emotional experience underlying low self-esteem. It’s that awful feeling generated by perceiving one’s self as bad, defective, incompetent, unattractive. Everyone experiences shame from time to time. I meet someone I know and call them by the wrong name. “Oy, I can’t believe I’m so stupid,” I tell …
Workshop: Transforming shame
Identify one thing you constantly beat yourself up for and apply these ten steps to begin a process of transforming your shame into self-esteem. 1. Face the truth. This means acknowledging and owning when you feel shame and acknowledging how much you are suffering because of these feelings. …
The Double-Edged Sword of Spiritual Growth
There’s no doubt in my mind that no other religion or philosophy of life comes close to the superlative ideals of Judaism. The fact that Judaism’s basic moral theory is based on the mandate to emulate G-d indicates that Judaism is way of life based on great ideals. Loving others Is …
Ten Reasons Part 1 outline
DOV HELLER, LMFT Psychotherapy, Dating and Relationship Coaching Dov@ClarityTalk.com THE TEN REASONS WHY PEOPLE MARRY THE WRONG PERSON 1. You focus more on chemistry than on character. 2. You expect him/her to change after you’re married. 3. You don’t understand the fundamental emotional needs of men and women. 4. You …
The Rose, the Grizzly Bear, and the Robin
What do all three of these have in common with a human being? Like every living thing, it grows towards maturation and perfection. Shakespeare said, “Ripeness is all.” The rose emerges from under the winter ground in all its glory growing into its full pedaled beauty. The grizzly surviving the …
Your Ten Respnsibilities for Being Human
Judaism is a way of life built upon taking responsibility and fulfilling obligations. Perhaps the most crucial personal mandate of Judaism is to take full responsibility for one’s life. As Hillel famously said, “If I’m not for myself, who will be?” Here is a check list of the ten most …
The Courage To Be
Jim, 32 sat with tears rolling down his face, as he finally was able to acknowledge the truth about his life. “I never felt I had a right to exist, as strange as that sounds. I grew up in a home where I felt I could do nothing right. I …
How to Prevent a Spiritual Crash
Sylvia, 25 was soaring after her discovery of Judaism in Jerusalem a year ago. A new world of exciting possibilities opened up for her. She had never felt so happy in all her life. She had been searching for something real and authentic and now she was sure she found …
Why am I so Depressed? Tolerating and Integrating Difficult Feelings
Stan 31 has battled depression since he was 14. His parents were both highly successful in their careers and Stan often felt like he was in their way and had to keep his needs quiet so as not to bother them. He painfully remembers several occasions where both parents were …
Is There Hope When Love Grows Cold?
Here are three basic types of relational conversations: The Adversarial Conversation The adversarial couples fights, bickers, and attacks. Their communication style is to take a stand, stake out a position, and defend their territory. They exhaust themselves trying to convince each other to give in and come over to their …