Just as achieving peak physical health requires working on one’s core strength, so too achieving peak emotional and spiritual health requires working on one’s emotional core strength. A person who has a strong core self will be able to take on most anything life throws at him. He will experience life with vitality, passion, and empowerment. He will be moving towards developing and actualizing his unique creative potential while being able to form deep intimate relationships without fear of losing himself.
Someone with a weak core self will find himself struggling with taking ownership of his life, developing his unique creative potential, and building stable intimate relationships.
Here are 20 question to help you evaluate your core emotional strength.
Evaluate each question on a scale of 1-5.
- I have the capacity to experience a wide range of feelings without being overwhelmed or paralyzed by them.
2. I have the capacity to be curious about, process, and learn from my experience.
3. I accept myself fully with my limitations, weaknesses, and flaws without shame or self-hate.
4. I have ownership of my values, priorities, beliefs, and goals.
5. I have the ability to be alone with myself without becoming depressed and needing to look for distractions. .
6. I can experience deep closeness and emotional intimacy without fear of being abandoned or engulfed by the other person.
7. I am able to tell others the truth about how I feel with minimal anxiety
8. I have the ability to consistently find creative and satisfying solutions to my problems and life challenges.
9. I have the ability to stick to commitments I make.
10. I have the ability to soothe my painful feelings.
11. I can hold onto my identity and opinions in the face of social pressure.
12. I able to consistently accomplish what I put my mind to do.
13. I take full responsibility for my life while refusing to blame others or circumstances.
14. I feel deserving of having good things in life happen for me.
15. I am able to consistently assert myself in order to get my needs met without shame, guilt, or aggressiveness.
16. I can give and care for others without fear of losing myself.
17. I can disagree with others and still respect and love them.
18. I handle criticism and rejection well and regain my equilibrium fairly quickly.
19. I am generally content with my portion and am not jealous or envious of others.
20. I am generally able to maintain a positive perspective when the storms of life threaten to blow me over.
SCORING: This is not a scientific test therefore a specific value cannot be given for a specific score. In general, we can say that the higher the score, the greater is one’s core emotional strength. This being said, I believe that a score of 90 to 100 clearly indicates that you are a very strong and emotionally solid person. On the other hand, a score of 50 and below may indicate that you should consider getting some professional help. It is also important to point out that each question in and of itself is also valuable for self understanding especially for any question that you gave yourself a rating of 1.