There are six things to keep in mind in order to be your best dating self and give yourself
the best chance with the person you’re dating.
1. FEEL GOOD IN YOUR SKIN.
To be your most attractive self, you must strive to look your best. This is not about
getting into shape and looking great just for dating, but developing a healthy lifestyle
with healthy habits and attitudes for the rest of your life. It’s about having excellent self-
care. Someone who feels good physically will radiate attractive energy. Therefore, it
might be an excellent dating strategy to hire a trainer or nutritionist as a commitment to
loving your body and to a healthy lifestyle,
I might add, looking your best is especially important for the ladies, since men tend to be
visual and date from the outside, in. It might not feel fair, but I don’t think the male
nature is going to be changing anytime soon. .
2. FEEL GOOD IN YOUR SOUL.
People who love themselves send out very positive energy that is attractive to everyone
they meet. People who don’t like themselves send out a negative energy that is
unattractive and turns people off. If you struggle with your confidence, you might date
someone who likes you which might make you feel better about yourself, but ultimately
being desired by someone else will not fix your broken self-worth. If you’re struggling
with self-esteem, you must take responsibility to work on it now. If you want to become
your best dating self, build your self-esteem and learn how to love yourself.
3. BE A GROWING PERSON
There’s nothing more attractive than a person who knows himself and is working on becoming a
better version of him or herself. Put less time into networking and dating apps and put
more time into working on becoming the best version of yourself. A growing person is
an attractive person. Practically, this may mean working on clarifying your values,
priorities, and life goals, refining your character, such as working on being a kinder and
more giving person, becoming more patient, having more gratitude, So if you want to be
your best dating self, become a deeper more self-expansive person.
4. BE YOURSELF
A woman recently told me, that she has a sharp wit and works at toning it down when she
dates. I suggested instead to let it rip! It’s obvious when your married you have to be
fully yourself, so why hide who you are now while dating? Let your date see the real
you and let him or her decide if they like what they see.
A corollary to this principle is don’t play games, like hard to get, calculating the days
between texts, etc. Are we still in high school? Grow up. If you like someone, tell them.
Be honest. Be transparent. Be direct. Be an adult. If you want to be your best dating self,
reveal your true colors.
5. DISCOVER WHAT’S SPECIAL ABOUT THIS PERSON AND SHARE IT
Pretend you’re a reporter who has to write an article on what makes this person so
special. Look for what’s beautiful and virtuous about this person. We are all experts at
finding the faults and weaknesses in others, and we pride ourselves at being so insightful.
Being good at finding faults is not an indication that you have deep insight, rather it is an
indication that you are not a very evolved human being. Truly evolved people have the
ability to see what’s good in others and take pleasure in others.
Practice this on your next date. And when you discover something beautiful, don’t be
afraid to share your observations. People love being seen and understood. If you want to
be your best dating self, be an investigative reporter and focus on discovering what’s
great about this person.
6. BE A GREAT LISTENER
Listening is rare. How many people in your life truly listen to you?. A sixth grade
teacher once asked his class to put their heads down and show by raising fingers how
many people ever listened to them. Some put up two or three fingers, most put up none.
Good listeners paraphrase back to the speaker what he or she has said. Listening
communicates the message, “I respect your perspective and especially, your feelings.”
When we listen, we empower and encourage others. When we don’t listen, we shut
people down and discourage them. People who listen are beloved by those who are
sharing. Listening is certainly a powerful way to be your best dating self.