There’s no doubt in my mind that no other religion or philosophy of life comes close to the superlative ideals of Judaism. The fact that Judaism’s basic moral theory is based on the mandate to emulate G-d indicates that Judaism is way of life based on great ideals. Loving others Is the tip of the iceberg in Judaism. Loving others is spelt out in every way imaginable, from being held accountable for every word out of one’s mouth to obligating every person to give at least ten per cent of his financial resources to help others. Judaism demands a refinement of every character trait, from eliminating anger and impatience to being emotionally attuned to the feelings of others and even to the pain of every living creature. Living in accord with these ideals means committing to live a life of human greatness..
But aspiring to live a life of great ideals can be a two-edged sword. On the one hand, living with great ideals has the potential to uplift, empower, and inspire one to become one’s best self. In the daily prayers we say, “How happy are we with our portion.,” meaning that we are so fortunate to be able to live in accord with ideals that can give us a life of supreme elevation, holiness, meaning, and fulfillment.
On the other hand, trying to live a life of high ideals can be crushing. Trying to reach such ideals is no easy task. The greatest danger being that in striving constantly for the heights one may experience much more failure than success. Constant failure and falling short can result in feeling bad, defective, incompetent or weak. One who experiences shame is quite likely to fall into despair and self-hate, believing that he is doomed to a life of mediocrity at best.
Someone who has fallen into such an emotional abyss is likely to look for relief from his pain. The most obvious option is to rid one’s self of the cause of his pain, in this case, the ideals that he has failed to live up to. A person who is desperate may well choose to drop out of the life style he has chosen and simply quit. By no longer holding himself accountable to these ideals, he frees himself from being crushed by them. How ironic, that which once was experienced as life giving is now experienced as the source of death.
But there is another option other than running away and abandoning one’s ideals. This is the option of feeling fortunate to have such great ideals while accepting failure as part of human reality. This approach is summed up by the rabbis who say, “It doesn’t matter whether one does a lot or a little, as long as one’s vision remains heavenward.” The rabbis are reassuring us that it’s ok to fail and fall short of living up to all of the ideals of Judaism; a little growth is one hundred percent better than none. We must give ourselves permission to fail. Just because one fails doesn’t make one a failure. There is no shame in failing while striving towards the heavens. Theodore Roosevelt expressed this idea beautifully.
It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out
how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds
could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man
who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and
sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes
short again and again because there is no effort without error
and shortcomings, who knows the great devotion, who spends
himself in a worthy cause, who at best knows in the end the
high achievement of triumph and who at worst, if he fails while
daring greatly, knows his place shall never be with those timid
and cold souls who know neither victory nor defeat.
It is indeed a noble calling to hold onto the highest ideals even if as one fails and falls. King Solomon said, “The righteous fall seven times and pick themselves up again and again.” It is a great mistake to abandon one’s ideals because one fails to live up to them. G-d certainly never intended this when He gave us His instructions for living and these ideals. G-d expects us to do our best and enjoy the effort and the process of striving. The ultimate challenge of spiritual growth is to focus on being in the process not in succeeding. Being success focused inevitably leads to depression. Being process focused leads to vitality and aliveness. As Jews, we are called to the mission of being “Yisroel” which means “He who struggles with G-d “ Struggle is good and is what authentic spirituality is all about.