Questions you must answer before you say, “I do!”

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1. What is your worst fear if you marry this person?

2. What do you still need to know in order to be certain you want to marry this person?

3. Is he/she a kind person? Does he/sh enjoy giving pleasure to others?

4. Is he/she a responsible and reliable person?

5. Do you find him/her attractive?

6. Does he/she take care of him/herself physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually?

7. Do you feel this person is trying to change you?

8. Do you feel fully accepted by this person?

9. Do you admire this person?

10. What do you see when you look in his/her eyes?

11. Does he/she know himself well?  Is he/she confused?

12. Do you respect this person’s character, goals, and priorities?

13. Do you work well together as a team?

14. Are your values, priorities, life philosophy, and goals compatible?

15. Do both of you have good listening skills?

16. Is this person depressed?

17. Do you understand how men and women’s primary emotional needs are different?

18. Do you trust his/her judgment?

19. Can you live with this person exactly the way he/she is today?

20. What is this person really into? Do you respect and identify with it?

21. Can you express your feelings and opinions honestly and openly with this person?

22. Is he/she critical or judgmental of you?

23. Do you feel emotionally safe with this person?

24. Are you afraid of this person in any way?  Do you need to walk on egg shells around him/her?

25. Can you be yourself with this person? Can you be playful?

26. Can you be vulnerable with this person?

27. Do you like the way you feel when you’re with this person? Do you feel relaxed?

28. Is this person emotionally healthy?

29. Does this person have any compulsive behaviors or habits?

30. Did this person experience any emotional trauma growing up?

31. Are there any psychological disorders in either of your families?

32. Do you trust him in every way?

33. Is he/she materialistic and into comfort more than into doing the right thing?

34. Do you care about his/her’s happiness?   Do you want to help him/her succeed in life?

35. Are you certain that this person will respect your feelings and needs?

36. Do you want to have children with this person?

37. Would you want your kids to be like this person?

38. Do you want to be more like this person?

39. Have you thoroughly checked out this person’s character with reliable people?

40. Are you in agreement about your “lifestyle” and family expectations?

41. Do you have any concerns about marrying into his/her family?

42. Do you problem solve well together and reach win–win solutions?

43. Do you know what each other’s “love language” is? (See chapman, The Five Love Languages)

44. Is this person emotionally aware and honest with him/herself?

45. Is he/she able to express how she feels comfortably?

46. Does this person tend to be passive, aggressive, or assertive?