The Love Factor

What we love doing, we enjoy doing. What we don’t love doing, we generally don’t
enjoy doing. Identify something you really love doing, like computers, making deals,
golfing, counseling, teaching, working out, or gardening. What we love doing we also
love learning about and striving towards achieving some degree of expertise and mastery.
We don’t have to convince ourselves to do it. There’s no pressure either. What we love
doing is free of pressure. We don’t need external motivation or a push because we are
self motivated. Love is the greatest motivation in the universe. Love inspires curiosity,
growth and mastery.
Now compare those activities you love with those that you feel forced or pressured to do.
These are far less pleasurable. Pressure destroys pleasure. With this in mind, it makes
sense why many people do not enjoy being religious. For example, prayer motivated by
fear or obligation will never become a truly pleasurable experience because it is
something you don’t love doing. It will never be as pleasurable as tennis, music, or
gardening no matter how hard you force yourself to love it. And for a religious person,
prayer is only one of many practices that one may not love doing.
From this perspective, I think you will appreciate the great genius of our sages who wrote
the morning blessing which begins with the words, “With a great love have you loved
us.” The blessing continues with a request that “we become inspired to learn, understand,
and fulfill all the instructions of the Torah with LOVE.” Our sages understood that the
pathway to spiritual pleasure depends upon loving what we do.
Could I love to pray like I love playing tennis? Could I love to give charity like I love
gardening? Could I love honoring my parents like I love playing guitar? Of course I
could, but it’s going to take a lot of hard work and above all, courage and self-honesty.
The first and most difficult step is to acknowledge which religious practices we don’t
love doing. Being honest with our selves, opens up the possibility of getting to know
ourselves on a deeper level and exploring our motives for being religious. Self-honesty is
the beginning of every genuine growth process. Let the adventure begin.

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