Never make a big decision when you are feeling desperate, confused, or under pressure.
You might think this is obvious but it’s not to a lot of people. I know this from my work
with singles who are struggling with deciding to marry or not. They come to me with a
list of issues hoping I will resolve all of them. By the time we’re done talking the list is
usually bigger. And because they are often desperate, feeling pressured and certainly
confused, they want to take some crazy leap of faith into marriage. Not a very smart thing
to do.
When it comes to making big decisions, we need to make sure we get all the information
we need to make a smart decision. Ideally, we want to make big decisions in a state of
peace and calm. We can never know everything, but we have to be honest with ourselves
and recognize what we know and don’t know. This approach applies to every type of big
decision in life not just in relationships.
Perhaps the best help I give to these singles is helping them to be honest with themselves
and their feelings and to recognize that it is virtual suicide to make a decision in a state of
desperation, pressure, or confusion. And to help them see that the only way forward to
peace of mind is to do the hard work of gaining inner clarity. Indeed, the truth sets us
free.