Shame is poison to the soul and is one of the greatest obstacles to personal growth and
self-improvement. Shame is the feeling generated from one’s perceptions that one is
deficient, bad, or inferior. Shame often leads to self-hate and when someone is thrown
into a storm of self-hate, he is like a drowning person whose only concern is survival.
Genuine growth is almost impossible when one is trapped in the prison of shame
Is there any hope for those who suffer with shame and self-hate? There is always a
choice between judging one’s limitations as indicators of one’s defectiveness, resulting in
feeling shame or accepting one’s limitations. Acceptance is the only way to liberate
oneself from his prison of shame and self-hate. Acceptance puts an end to obsessing and
the torture of beating oneself up.
Here’s an empowering exercises to improve one’s self image. Take a rigorous and
honest inventory to identify any aspects of your life where you experiences shame.
Here’s a list of areas to explore:
Your feelings and moods
Attitudes, thoughts, desires, fantasies
Behaviors, character flaws, mistakes, failures, habits
Bodily blemishes and flaws
Relationships, family of origin issues, intimacy issues, your past
Your status in the community, career, money
A good question to ask is, which behaviors and actions of mine are shame-driven?
If you discover any area that you feel shame, own it, explore it, and understand it in order
to start moving towards self-acceptance. One of the most powerful ways to transform
shame into acceptance is to find the courage to share the shame with someone you trust
who can process it with you. The only way to feel at peace with yourself is to transform
your shame into self-acceptance.