When I was a freshman in college, I knew with certainty that I wanted to major in pre-
med. It felt so clear and right. After all, what else was I going to do with my life, being a
Jewish guy from a middle class home whose father was a dentist? Things were going along
fine, so I thought, but I was lying to myself. As the semester wore on, I was feeling
pressure and anxiety. I tried my best to ignore those feelings. When friends and family
asked me how my classes were going, I told them everything was fine, but I was lying to
myself. I began to question my decision and life goals. But I resisted the nagging doubts
and uncomfortable feelings. I continued to lie, unable to face the truth. I tried to
convince myself that this was what I really wanted and the pain I was experiencing was
the price I had to pay to achieve my goals. I was unhappy but I lied to myself.
Eventually the pain and pressure of pushing to do something I did not want to do became
too much to bear.
I clearly remember the day that I acknowledged what I was feeling and faced the truth. I
admitted that I hated biology and chemistry and that I was much more excited about the
philosophy class I was taking. Facing the truth was as much liberating as it was
frightening. My life was suddenly going nowhere. I was facing a radically unknown
future. But at the same time, I felt excited and alive. There was no turning back.
We lie to ourselves because we’re afraid of the unknown and afraid of change. But when we lie, we die. When we face our truth, no matter how painful, we feel alive. It’s that simple. Are you lying to yourself about some aspect of your life: a relationship, a career choice, a moral decision, your life’s
direction? How would you know if you are lying?–because you are not happy and not at
peace with yourself but in a state of constant conflict. The body never lies. Listen to it. It
will set you free and open up new worlds of possibilities.