Perhaps the most fundamental psychological task of a human being is to differentiate
from his or her family of origin and become a unique individual. For all eternity, there
will never be another you! Imitation is death. Uniqueness is life. To differentiate we
must do one thing: listen to our own voice. When we listen to the voices of others
without listening to our own voice and conform to social pressure, we lose ourselves and
risk becoming a cheap copy of others.
Abraham became a great person because he refused to give in to the social pressure of the
idol worshipping culture he we embedded in. He had the strength and courage to listen to
his own voice. As Dr. Rollo May put it, Courage is the capacity to embrace the anxiety
that comes with each step one takes towards freedom, independence, and authentic
selfhood.
Social pressure is ruthless. There are voices all around us telling us who we should be,
what’s right, and what’s true. The voices of authority demand obedience. Dare I go
against what others say? Dare I reject the authority of those who know so much more
than me? Dare I think for myself? Dare I say this may work for you but not for me? When we give in to social pressure and lose our voice, our horizons narrow and our true self dies.
When we do listen to our voice, we feel alive and free as our creative horizons expand.
How does one find one’s voice and liberate oneself from social pressure? The answer
lies in one simple word, “why.” When we ask ourselves why we do what we do or
believe what we believe, we are forced to confront our motivation. Why am I praying
today? Why am I a doctor? Why am I religious? Why am I not religious? Why am I a
mother? Why do I believe in G-d? Am I doing this for me or for someone else? Am I
making this decision based on what I truly want or what I perceive others want me to
want? Am I living my life or someone else’s life? If we have the strength and courage to
consistently ask ourselves, “why?” we have a chance of discovering our own voice and
what we want! This is not self-centeredness. This is self-discovery, self-expansion, and
liberation!