Want to know how to improve your sex life? Get married. I’m serious. The best love
making happens with one partner you’re committed to, not with multiple partners. You
may have some very intense sexual experiences with different partners, but you will
never experience the deep pleasure of making love with one person. But doesn’t it get
boring with one person? It does if you’re focused only on the physical dimension of love
making and not on the emotional dimension. But if you’re growing together emotionally,
the sexual experience improves as you get to know each other better.
So you’re already married but it’s not going so well. Let me share some advice that was
written 800 years ago by a great sage, known as Nachmanides.
Therefore, you should begin with words that will draw her heart to you and will settle her
mind and will make her happy; to unite your mind with her mind and your intention with
her intention. Tell her things some of which will produce in her desire, attachment, love,
willingness, and passion. Tell her words which will elevate her soul. It is fitting to win
her heart with words of charm and seduction and other proper things so that the intent of
both of you will be unified. Similarly, one should not have relations while his wife is
sleepy for their minds will not be unified. Arouse her instead with pleasing words of
desire as we have explained.
In summary, when you are ready to have relations, ensure that your wife’s mind agrees
with yours. Do not hasten to arouse her desire, so that her mind will be serene. Begin in
a pleasing manner of love, so that she will be satisfied first.
The way to improve love making for the couple is to improve the love making approach
of the male partner. The focus of the man is to get to know his wife’s sexual personality,
understanding her needs and her rhythms. As he understands her this way, he must then
connect her mind with his mind through conversation. The best way to ruin the sexual
experience is for the man to be a self-absorbed lover. The best way to improve the
experience is to be a giving lover. Using this approach will build a strong emotional
connection which will translate into a more enjoyable sexual experience for both of you.