The main issue of life is not what happened to us but how we respond to what happened
to us. When our personal focus becomes fixed and stuck on what happened rather than
on how to respond and move forward, we are living like a victim.
The victim’s life narrative is about the past and how badly he was hurt. What’s more, the
victim feels entitled and justified holding onto his pain. Unfortunately, the victim lives a
life of quiet desperation and panic as he watches opportunities and possibilities pass him
by. Often the pain and the trauma that one experienced are pushed out of awareness
because the pain is too unbearable to face. In this case, the victim narrative plays itself
out unconsciously.
How about you or someone you care about? Are you living life as a victim? Here are ten
indications that you or someone you love may be living the life of a victim:
- Over sensitivity, reactivity, and anger
- An underlying feeling of hopelessness and panic
- Isolation and loneliness.
- Helplessness and powerlessness, not feeling in control of one’s life
- Blaming others
- Making excuses rather than taking responsibility for one’s life
- Unhappy and moody
- Low self-confidence and feelings of shame
- Passive-aggressive communication and behavior
- Feeling the deck is stacked against you