INDIVIDUAL PSYCHOANALYTIC PSYCHOTHERAPY
This is for those individuals who want to get to the root of their problems and are willing to make a commitment to put in the time and effort necessary to do so. [See Basic Concepts]
HELPING MEN WIN THE INNER BATTLE
This is for men who have reached a point in their life where they are ready to make a serious commitment to conquering the “emotional demons” which have been holding them back. I have found that there are four key emotional issues that most impact a man’s well-being and happiness: Inadequacy, Intimacy (both sexual and emotional), Anger, and Responsibility.
MARRIAGE AND COUPLES THERAPY
There are four important aspects of marriage and couples therapy that I focus on:
- To help you understand the unique emotional dynamics of your relationship, especially in the context of your unique family and life history, so that you will be able to better understand each other and the root of your problems.
- To help each of you separately understand and manage your feelings, in order to promote greater self-awareness and understanding of your role in the relationship.
- To maximize your ability to communicate openly and honestly with one another and to create a safe emotional space.
- To give you practical tools and help you make rules that will help you maximize your ability to take care of each other’s emotional needs and make each other happy.
Perhaps the most important skill you need to have in order to be successful in life is the ability to express your feelings and needs assertively. The goal of assertiveness coaching is to help you learn how to do this. Being assertive does not mean getting what you want, as many people believe. Rather, being assertive means putting yourself in the best position to get what you want.
The first step in becoming an assertive person is to be able to clearly identify and own what you feel or need. Sometimes we know that something is bothering us but we cannot identify exactly what the feeling is. To be an assertive person you must be in touch with your feelings.
The second step is to learn how to express your feelings effectively. There are three communication styles: passive, assertive, and aggressive. Sometimes we know what we’re feeling but we’re afraid or ashamed to express it, so we don’t say anything and stuff the feelings. This often leads to other problems, such as passive-aggressive behavior. This is the passive style. On the other extreme, sometimes the only way we know how to express a feeling is aggressively, which is also not effective and often does more harm than good. When we communicate aggressively, we attack by employing “you statements.”
The goal is to communicate assertively, which is the most effective way to communicate. When we communicate assertively we tend to use “I statements.” When we express ourselves assertively we feel good about ourselves and the other person will be much more open to listening and responding to us in the way we want.
- Making counseling available to anyone, anywhere in the world.
- Specializing in dating, marriage, and relationship consultations.
RELATIONSHIP ASSESSMENTS AND COUNSELING
Strengthen your love with the power of clarity. This service is for couples who are seriously considering the possibility of marriage. The goal of the assessment is to help you gain a clear picture of the strengths and weakness of your relationship and especially to pinpoint any danger areas that may cause serious problems in the future. A couple may also come with specific issues to work on which they’ve already identified.
DATING ADVICE AND COACHING FOR INDIVIDUALS
This is for those who are either in a relationship or looking for a relationship and feel they need some advice and guidance.
- For those not in a relationship who want to be more effective in their dating strategy.
- For those in a relationship who have issues or questions that are bothering them pertaining to their current relationship.
Counseling is a shorter-term approach and generally for people who do not have significant developmental trauma in their history or what we might call, “heavy emotional baggage.” In counseling, the focus is much more cognitively and behaviorally oriented, which means there is a much greater emphasis on changing the way one thinks and taking action. The focus is also more on the present than on the past. What is common to both counseling and analytic therapy is the importance of identifying one’s organizing principles.